With only 7 weeks left until baby number 2 gets here (how did that go by so fast), there are things with both of my pregnancies that I (Sierra) have been asked or comments made that just kind of make me cringe. Before I was pregnant I could very well be guilty of some of these (maybe this is pay back). I'm sure that no one means anything intentionally, but there really are some comments that people should just avoid saying. I'm sharing some of my thoughts and experiences and why we should all think before we speak. Especially when there's pregnancy hormones involved.
Now these comments might not bother other pregnant women and that's fine, but not all of us want to hear these things.
Was This Planned: I'm sorry but if you're not a family member or really close friend this comment is kind of inappropriate. You don't know how long someone has been trying to get pregnant or what they have experienced in their journey, or maybe they weren't planning on it at all. But it happened. Let's just be happy for them and leave it at that.
You Didn't Waste Any Time: Yes, my little guys will be under 2 years apart. So what. It's not your decision to determine how many years apart my kids should be. This also goes for the women out there who might only have one child. Stop badgering them and asking them when they are going to have another. And if that time comes, don't make comments like oh it's about time.
You Have To Try For a Girl Now: We get this all the time. Enough already. Let us be happy and enjoy that we have another baby on the way. Our prayer is for healthy and happy whatever the gender is. Who even said we wanted a girl? It's gotten to the point when people say this I just ask them, why? If they would like to make comments and determine how many kids we should have then they should be able to answer my simple question.
Are You Sure You're Pregnant: I got this a lot with my first pregnancy. I didn't really start showing until 20 plus weeks. With this pregnancy it was a lot sooner. With so much excitement about having a baby the last thing you want people doing is questioning things. Of course I didn't think they meant anything personal by it and I was secretly happy that I was still so small, but it got to the point where I would find myself looking forward to having a little bump so people would stop asking.
You're Going To Pop: On the reverse side of things this comment has always rubbed me the wrong way. Gosh, I probably sound like such an angry pregnant person. I promise, I'm really not. I know there are all these cute Pinterest ideas with this wonderful little saying, but it's just not my thing.
Side story, I was down to my final weeks of pregnancy with my first son and a woman at my work just happened to be the lucky third person of the day to say this phrase. I guess I must have looked exceptionally large that day. Yes, that had to be it, right? Anyway, I kindly said to her, I'm going to pop? No, corn kernels pop. I'm about to have a baby any day now. So give birth, yes. Pop, nope that's not physically possible.
Should You Be Eating That: I'm a responsible adult that in general eats as healthy as I can. I know what foods to stay away from when pregnant and will gladly indulge in them again when I am not. But, if I happen to go for that third, or fourth, slice of pizza because I forgot my organic yogurt, almonds, or apple at home, please don't make a comment or judge me.
Belly Touching: This is neither a comment or a question. In my experience people just dive right in! With my first pregnancy I was so shocked at the amount of people who went in for a belly rub that I almost smacked the first few hands out of the way. Hey now, I didn't know exactly what they were grabbing for. I don't lean in and rub your body parts so please don't touch mine.
Oh, Well I Figured Because You Were Pregnant: Yes, some women have difficult pregnancies and aren't able to do the things they used to, but don't just assume because someone is pregnant that you count them out. We still want to feel invited and know we are being thought of. Let us make the decision if we can attend or not. The same goes for people who don't have kids yet. Don't assume that your friends with kids can't do things. Still invite them. You might make their day and they might jump at the thought of having a night out.
What Sign Is The Baby: I've never really been in to the whole sign thing but can respect other people's beliefs and cultures. Some people really take this thing to another level though. I was in the grocery store during my first pregnancy minding my own business. As I reached for a package of napkins a woman approached me and asked when I was due. I told her my due date which I guess happened to be on the cusp of two different signs. She proceeded to say oh well I hope he comes on this date or after because they have the best temperament, and the moon aligns with something or other. Let's hope he doesn't come before this date because he will be a handful and hard to get along with. Really lady? I just smiled and said thank you for your opinion but I believe that my Lord and Savior, the very one who created the moon and stars, has a plan for my child regardless of the date he is born.
What You Can Do For A Pregnant Woman: Instead of all of the odd questions and comments what you can do is encourage and be a support to her. Every woman might feel different about her pregnancy and every pregnancy she experiences will be different. Thoughtfulness goes a long way. Just letting her know you are thinking of her or rephrasing some of these questions can make a big difference. With my first pregnancy so many of my friends reached out and really made me feel special. Now with my second it's just different. And that's ok. I still have a great support system with the friends who do show they care. Try to remember this is a time of change for a woman, both mentally and physically.
Have you had someone make a comment while you were pregnant that just rubbed you the wrong way?
Have you been the person to make a comment to a pregnant woman that you probably shouldn't have said?
Belly Touching: This is neither a comment or a question. In my experience people just dive right in! With my first pregnancy I was so shocked at the amount of people who went in for a belly rub that I almost smacked the first few hands out of the way. Hey now, I didn't know exactly what they were grabbing for. I don't lean in and rub your body parts so please don't touch mine.
Oh, Well I Figured Because You Were Pregnant: Yes, some women have difficult pregnancies and aren't able to do the things they used to, but don't just assume because someone is pregnant that you count them out. We still want to feel invited and know we are being thought of. Let us make the decision if we can attend or not. The same goes for people who don't have kids yet. Don't assume that your friends with kids can't do things. Still invite them. You might make their day and they might jump at the thought of having a night out.
What Sign Is The Baby: I've never really been in to the whole sign thing but can respect other people's beliefs and cultures. Some people really take this thing to another level though. I was in the grocery store during my first pregnancy minding my own business. As I reached for a package of napkins a woman approached me and asked when I was due. I told her my due date which I guess happened to be on the cusp of two different signs. She proceeded to say oh well I hope he comes on this date or after because they have the best temperament, and the moon aligns with something or other. Let's hope he doesn't come before this date because he will be a handful and hard to get along with. Really lady? I just smiled and said thank you for your opinion but I believe that my Lord and Savior, the very one who created the moon and stars, has a plan for my child regardless of the date he is born.
What You Can Do For A Pregnant Woman: Instead of all of the odd questions and comments what you can do is encourage and be a support to her. Every woman might feel different about her pregnancy and every pregnancy she experiences will be different. Thoughtfulness goes a long way. Just letting her know you are thinking of her or rephrasing some of these questions can make a big difference. With my first pregnancy so many of my friends reached out and really made me feel special. Now with my second it's just different. And that's ok. I still have a great support system with the friends who do show they care. Try to remember this is a time of change for a woman, both mentally and physically.
Have you had someone make a comment while you were pregnant that just rubbed you the wrong way?
Have you been the person to make a comment to a pregnant woman that you probably shouldn't have said?
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