Motherhood-When You Can't Be In Two Places At Once

I think it goes without saying that being a mom is the hardest job in the world. I always heard that term thrown around but never fully understood it until I was walking down the same path. That's not to discredit anyone's professional career or the hard work that is put into other professions. It's just that motherhood really is a 24/7 lifetime journey. 

As I sit here in my baby boy's hospital room (I previously wrote this) just a few hours after his first lip surgery that began the process of repairing his bilateral cleft lip and palate, I'm experiencing so many emotions. Not only have I felt helpless after he was in post-op, but feelings of worry, of hope, of being proud of him, but also feelings of let down. 

You see, somehow on this day it seems like everything was going on at once. We found out a date for his surgery less than two weeks ago and at the time this day was wide open. Nothing going on, at all. Well, aside from it being my brother's birthday, but that gave me comfort in knowing it was going to be an ok day. 

Soon after we finalized everything for his surgery it seemed like that date became very popular, and specifically for our oldest son. His last baseball game was supposed to be the week before but due to some heavy storms they moved it, to guess when? Yup, the same day as my baby boy's surgery. I also received a notice that it was also his kindergarten orientation that day. I'm still a little annoyed they didn't give more advanced notice, but that's another story. So here we are, two big events for my little guy and I'm stuck in a rock and a hard place. 

Now some people might be thinking, well what's the big deal, it's not like it was his first day of school and it's not like you missed all of his games. And yes, that's true, but regardless of how you look at it, this was the first time I wasn't able to manage splitting my time for them. And I'd be a bit naive to think it will be the last. 

In most cases we've been able to work things out with going to something earlier or showing up a little later if they fall on the same date. But this situation didn't afford us that opportunity, and it hurts. It hurts my mama heart to know that I can't be there to support both of them at the same time. To know that we have to rely on others to step up and take care of them in our absence. To know that no matter how much you explain things to them and how much he understood the importance of us being there for the baby, he was still sad. 

It makes me think of other parents and how they aren't always able to be there to share special moments because of certain circumstance, and it breaks my heart even more. In away, it makes me feel silly for being so upset about this one time. But then again these are my feelings, and our normal, and I can't discredit that. 

I think what really makes me sit here and reflect is coming to the realization that there will be moments like this throughout our lives.

Moments when you can't physically be two places at once (although wouldn't that be really cool if we could?).

Moments were one of our children might feel let down by us.

Moments where a small achievement might feel like a really big one to them that we can't always be there to share.

Moments where having more than one child becomes difficult because managing time becomes harder and harder.

Moments where I know as they grow and become even more involved that Eric and I will be pulled in many directions.

Moments where I wish now more than ever I could figure out how to make time stand still so that I can be the best that I can be for them.

Moments where I know as they grow older, and become independent, the reality is, one day they might not even live in the same state as us (ok, can that day just not happen and we all continue to be one big happy family). 

Then I have thoughts of reassurance that I am being the best that I can be for them. That it's ok to show them that I have feelings and emotions. That I am sad when I can't be there to support them 24/7, but that's also life, and reality. That cheering them on from afar will always be something I will do and that they can feel supported even when we can't physically be there.

That moments like this are stepping stones and learning experiences for us. One day we might remember this and be able to help them out as they grow and have their own families. To know that giving your best, and being there for what you can, sometimes is your best. 

I have to think that many parents have been in similar situations where your time has to be split. I would love to hear about how you manage it or how I can better prepare myself as they continue to grow and get older. I'm sure it's never easy but us moms somehow always find away to make things work. 

Funny Things My Kids Have Said During Pregnancy

I have to say, being pregnant this time around with two little ones has been nothing short of interesting. Aside from the exhaustion and still needing to care for them, house work that needs to be done, and maybe even more messes because they're older now—some pretty funny things have come out of their mouth regarding my growing belly. 

It's been a long time since I shared some of the things they say, so I thought it would be would a good time to document some of these silly phrases here. Now, a lot of this happens to revolve around some humor related to bodily functions, so if that isn't your thing I respect that and I'll see you next post. But if you're up for some little boy "toilet talk" (which we try not to condone in our home) then you might get a kick out of some of this.

I think with this pregnancy I started showing so much sooner than I did before, so feeling bigger has really been from the start. I know my hips have expanded and I'm hoping that with some hard work I'll be back to feeling more like myself next year. Well, A has certainly taken note of that too and really seems to have drawn an attraction to my "big booty" (or is it bootie?) as he likes to call it. In fact, he's made not one but several comments about it. The first one was, wow mama your belly is getting almost as big as your booty. Geez, thanks son I haven't noticed. The one that really stuck out to me was when he asked me, mama, did daddy marry you because you have a big booty? Completely shocked by what he said, the only thing I could mutter out of my mouth was, why don't you go ask your father. As a parent you try really hard not to laugh and encourage these things, but sometimes you just can't help it.

Continuing with the whole booty talk, I'm not even going to try and sugarcoat it or pretend that girls don't pass gas or have to go to the bathroom. I know some people might be mortified by this, but with a house full of boys and very little that embarrasses me, I'm just going to put it out there. Yes, I pass gas (please don't think any less of me). One morning while we were all laying in bed one happened to creep out. It was an odd sounding one and both of the boys shot up from laying down and looked at me. I just kind of smirked and shrugged my shoulders. Little nugget said, mama! I just heard the baby talking to us! My eyes got really big and both Eric and I started laughing. A chimed in and said, yeah I think I heard him say, helllooooo.

Since I'm now 34 weeks, my stomach is really out there and my belly button has started looking a little weird. It hasn't really popped out, but it doesn't look like it did before. Anyway, little nugget seems to think that the baby is going to come out of my belly button and has mentioned that several times.  The other day, A lifted up my shirt and wanted to see my belly. When he saw my belly button he gasped. I asked him what was wrong and he said, mama I think the baby's eye is popping out of your belly. I laughed and told that was actually my belly button. He proceeded to say, well that's disgusting.

There have also been some really cute moments too. Like when we're shopping they'll ask if they can buy things for the baby, or if they see something that comes in threes they'll say the other one is for their brother. Little nugget will remind me that I shouldn't eat sugary things or when I tell him that I can't have things like hotdogs, he'll say, oh right, because what mama eats the baby eats. He's also asked me, mama if the baby's swimming around in your belly will he know how to swim when he comes out? I think that was a logical question.

Like most pregnancies I'm sure a lot of us find ourselves rushing to the bathroom more frequently and constantly having to go. Well, one night I was coming up the stairs and it must have been some extra pressure weighing down on me because in a matter of seconds I had to go. Like right then and there. Of course our dog Coaty was also running up the steps and wanted to cut me off from making it to the bathroom. You can probably figure out that I didn't make it in time. Thankfully it wasn't a full on out disaster, but because I was yelling for the dog to get out of the way, the boys came running over and realized what happened. A few days later little nugget had an accident at school during nap time and we had to bring his nap mat home to wash. We brought it back the next morning and as he was carrying it in and gave it to his teacher he thought it was important to let her know, it's ok that I had an accident, mama had one the other day.

We were sitting around the dinner table one night and somehow the topic of how does the baby eat came up. I think it had something to do with little nugget saying he wanted to feed the baby chicken nuggets and we told him the baby can only have milk until he has teeth and can eat like a big boy. Somehow in a quick downward spiral my boobs and milk were now the topic. It was like a light bulb went off for them. Little nugget asked me if the baby can have chocolate milk? I told him no, not chocolate milk but special milk for babies. I could see A thinking about something and before I knew it I was asked, well if we squeeze your boobs will chocolate milk come out for us? I kind of just gave him this look and told him, no. It definitely doesn't work like that.

Have your kids ever said anything funny during your pregnancy or maybe to a friend that was pregnant? Or maybe you don't have kids but you've witnessed some funny topics. I'd love to hear them so I know I'm not alone. 

Little Things That Mean The Most

Motherhood has hands down been the most challenging and rewarding experience for me. The saying being a mom is the hardest job in the world, well, that's an understatement. 

I shared before about how I'm learning to be happy in the now and goals that every mom should have for herself. Some days I am really good at following through with this and others I find myself falling back into wishing for better days. We're all human, right? And just like I shared before about giving our selves grace, sometimes I need to go back and take my own advice.

As much as I think the snow is really pretty and I enjoy going out and playing with my boys, it's also my least favorite time of year. I'm not one to wish time away, but I also can't pretend that I'm not happy it's now March. It's funny because seasons in other areas can mean something so different for someone else. I know there are those that love the winter because they experience such brutal summers. Weather aside, and even motherhood aside, we can all look to appreciate the small moments.

I challenged myself to look back at the last month and think about the everyday moments that have meant the most to me in this season. Sometimes we get so focused on those big milestones, like taking first steps, first words, or learning to go to the bathroom. There's also those small moments or things that happen everyday that become part of our routine and can often be overlooked because they become the norm. I want to remember those too and the in between random happenings.

Here are some of our little moments that have meant the most to me.

As much as I am not a morning person, I think it's so cute that little nugget will not get out of his bed until Eric or I go in and get him. We took the rails off of his crib months ago and converted it into a big boy bed but he still stays in there like he can't get out. I also love when A opens our door in the morning, even if it's before our alarm goes off, and climbs into bed to snuggle with us.

Speaking of snuggles, there is something so nice about the colder nights and curling up in a blanket and the boys wanting to get under with us.

I also love laying around with both of my boys in my lap listening to the sound of a crackling fire and watching the flames dance. I think it's so cute too when they want to get their sleeping bags out to have a camp out by the fireplace.

I am extremely blessed that little nugget has basically been potty training since 22 months. As much as it takes away from other things I could be doing (you know, like three loads of laundry, packing lunches, unloading the dishwasher) some of my favorite moments are when he tells me to sit down on the bathroom floor and starts chatting it up about life and hearing his silly stories while he's doing his business.

Our dance parties will always be a favorite of mine, but recently car dance parties have become a thing with us. They love the song Thunder, and when it comes on we are all dancing away. I can only imagine what someone is thinking when they pull up next to us at a red light. 

This is probably going to sound so weird but wiping noses. Yup, wiping noses. Ok, maybe not all of the stuff that comes out of it, because ew, but both of my boys are too cute when it comes to taking care of this. A makes this sniffling noise that is too funny and little nugget blows out of his mouth instead of out of his nose.

Hiding has been a big thing with them and convenient enough it seems to happen a lot more right around bedtime. Eric and I always get a kick out of their hiding spots because they will be under the covers with half of their head sticking out, a foot peeking out down by the bottom, and a little voice calling out saying, come and find me. It's so cute that in their little minds they think we really can't see them.

One of my favorite things has been watching the boys becomes so close with our dog. Every night A has coaty come up into his room and lay in bed with him. He'll use him like a pillow and our dog just sits there and loves every moment of it, or the dog will start licking him like crazy and want to play. The boys have also included him in their playtime and will pretend he's a dragon if they're playing knights or that he's a dinosaur coming to stomp down their forest.

I know a lot of times we'll make reference or all say it's the little things in life, and I truly believe that. It's these little moments that make up the really big ones and all the in between. Sometimes we just need a reminder and to look back and actually appreciate them.