One kid. Two kid. Three kids, so many kids. More recently both Eric and I have gotten so many questions about how is it transitioning from two kids to three. There were a lot of people that told us that going from two kids to three was a really easy transition. Maybe they are super parents of some sort, and I love hearing positive things from others, but it hasn't been as easy as many make it out to be.
Now I completely understand that our situation is a bit different since our youngest son was born with a bi-lateral cleft lip and palate, but he is just as much a normal baby in every way possible minus some big feeding challenges and some other common cleft hurdles. Regardless if your little one is born with special needs, a colic baby, or a baby that is as sweet as can be, you are now out numbered (for a typical two parent household, single parents you all are the real MVPs) and with that comes new adjustments.
We are almost four months deep into this parenting three kids gig and I finally feel like we are finding our groove again. Can I get an amen for parents getting their groove back. HA! Hmm, maybe that should be a new movie idea. Hollywood, I'm open for auditions.
Of course this is all opinion based and it really depends on the temperaments and personalities of your kids. I happen to have a very strong-willed older son, a threenager who used to be my sweet child, and now a new born. Yes, your prayers are always appreciated. I'm also not naive and know this list will probably look very different in a few years when they grow out of certain stages and new ones come about. But for now, this fresh season of navigating life as a parent of three leaves me with these thoughts...
Not Enough Hands:
I happen to think that whether you have one kid, three kids, or five kids (God bless my mom) you never have enough hands. They say it takes a village and that can be so true. When I had my first son I had this supermom mentality like I could handle it all and asking for help made me feel like I didn't have it under control. Let's fast forward to three kids and I crack up at that Luv's commercial where the mom hands her child over to mechanic. It's so true and relatable. I think like most things in life you get more comfortable as time goes on, you allow others to lend a helping hand, and baby wearing becomes so important. That's my secret right now to getting anything done. Having both hands free but still having those sweet snuggles for your little one is a great compromise. I wear my classic moby wrap almost every day, if not multiple times, and it makes such a different. I've also heard great things about a ring sling carriers but I haven't personally tried them yet.
Age Differences:
right now I have three kids five and under with my first two being 22 months apart. At first that seemed crazy to us but the more I think about it the more I love it. Sure they have their crazy moments and get into their little tiffs. The other day I had to break them up because they were playing cats. What's that you say? I asked myself the same thing. All I know is it ended up in them scratching each other. Oh yes, fun times. Ok, cats aside, seeing them grow together and have built-in best friends makes my mama heart so happy. I pray that their relationships over time will grow and strength even more.
You'll Pray A lot:
speaking of prayer, I am a firm believer in the power of prayer and it seems like with each child I find myself praying even more for them. Maybe it's adding in another person to pray for but I end up praying for each of them, collectively, and for Eric and myself as parents. I also pray that God will place positive influences in their lives as they grow and give them a strong sense of right and wrong. This world can be a scary place and covering them in prayer before those critical teen years where peer pressure and tough decisions come into place can be so important.
You Might Cry, You Might Laugh, You Might Do Both At The Same Time:
it's ok to feel emotional on this wild ride of motherhood. There are days where you'll feel like you got this and other times you are counting down the hours until bed time. Somehow in between all the craziness we always seem to find the joy in it because our kids are our greatest gifts.
It's Ok To Give Responsibilities:
if you caught my instagram (@beautifully_candid) you might have seen that I shared about some emotions I was feeling and how I unintentionally was putting a lot of responsibilities on my second son (I don't like to label him as the middle child) and had to remind myself that he's still only three. On the other hand, I also saw him flourish when we gave him and his older brother appropriate responsibilities. As much as transitioning from two kids to three is an adjustment for parents, it's also a big adjustments to your kids. This responsibility chart really helps to manage all of that and give them goals to work towards. We've done things like once they accomplish certain areas we'll do a big boys day and go to the movies, chuck e cheese, jump zone, things along those lines. They're also both great at lending a helping hand with the baby which makes me happy to see.
Life With Three Is Busy:
we knew one thing for sure that adventuring into this parenting of three zone would without a doubt make life even busier. I kind of feel like that goes without saying, but I also want to be transparent here. You think you have an idea of how busy it can be but I'm not really sure anything fully prepares you until you have to go through the trenches. A is starting T-ball this year and little nugget wants to play soccer again. I'm already trying to figure out how we're going to manage it all. Like anything else in life you always find a way to make it all work.
You Somehow Become An Expert:
I think I first noticed it when we were in the hospital and the nurses would come in to check on you and asked if this was our first. Once they found out it was our third they were all like, oh yeah well you know what you're doing then. Even now if I go out somewhere with just the baby while the other two are in school, as soon as someone finds out it's my third they back down from offering any unsolicited advice and shake their head like yeahhh, you got this. It's kind of funny and also empowering at the same time because we do have this, as best as we can.
If you're on the fence with transitioning from two to three kids it's always best to go with what you feel is best for your family. It won't be easy (in my opinion) the days will feel long at times, you'll need to evaluate your living situation, financial situation, career, and the list goes on. But, if there is a passion in your heart to expand your family and you are worrying about if you can manage it all, you eventually find a way. Motherhood has a funny way of making even the craziest of days fill your heart with so much joy.
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